Human Virus Scanner
The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.
Viruses you suffer from:
Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rules the waves. [repeat]
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
Free BSD (135%)
The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
Read some Enid Blyton.
Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.
Gnome is better than workbench. BEOS is better than Amiga OS. The TV Modulator was a pain in the arse and an EXTERNAL power pack? I ask you. And it didn't have a built in MIDI port like some of its rivals.
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.
Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.
Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
Conspiracy Theory (165%)
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
Use a mouse with more than one button.
Viruses you might suffer from:
Grow up. Let your roots grow out. Listen to Britney.
No need for cure. Benign virus.
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.
Brand Names (85%)
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.
Computer Games (90%)
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.